Dude It's Not Psycho…. It's Science!

A Surf Check

The scene: Grom, Legend, and Surf Chick at the secret spot [if we told you we'd have to shoot you]

First just Grom and Legend:

GromBro!

LegendYeeeeeeew! Dude! It's pumping!

GromI know! We gotta get out there! F-ing Mr. Hand beat us to it.

LegendHe always does… science teachers have all the rad broken instruments. Ha. "Broken" good one.

GromHe was going off the other day.

LegendI know. He just got totally shacked! Yeeeeeee! Mr. Hand rips.

GromNo I mean in science class…

They start putting their wetsuits on.

Surf Chick approaches.

Surf ChickYeeeeeeeew! S'up!

LegendBruh.

GromDude.

Surf ChickDude bruh.

GromYeah. Mr. Hand was going off.

Surf ChickHe rips.

LegendA tube by any other name would smell as sweet.

Surf ChickOoooo, waxing poetic i like it.

GromNo like. The water. It doesn't come at you. The water just goes up. And forward. And down. And back. Same spot. Like donuts.

LegendBruh.

GromYeah, a parcel of water. In a wave. It traces a circular orbit. Up, forward, down, back. It ends up where it started. The water doesn't travel. The energy does. The wave is energy moving through water. The water's the medium.

LegendWhats a parcel.

Surf ChickAmazon parcels bro! Yeeeew!

Grom…

GromDonuts.

LegendGot it.

Surf ChickYou got donuts?

GromBruh, wave donuts. The wave — the energy — is what's moving toward shore. The water is just doing little loops.

Surf ChickSo the swell isn't water.

GromSwell's not water, bro.

Surf ChickYeeeeew.

[still putting on wetsuits]

GromThe bottom comes up and squishes the donuts. The sand blocks the bottom of the loop. The top of the wave is still cruising. So it jacks up.

Surf ChickSo the top runs away from the bottom?

LegendVertical walls of tubular hydration, bruh.

GromIf the top goes too hard, it trips over itself, and the lip gets chucked!

Surf ChickThe throw.

GromSlow bottom, mushy spill. Gnarly bottom, full chuck. Shack city.

Surf ChickSo the reef isn't making it bigger. It's making the lip trip.

GromCorrect.

[Legend zips his suit.]

Surf ChickYeeeew! Mr. Hand!

GromAnd the peel. The shallow side slows first. And the deep side keeps sending. The whole wave pivots.

Surf Chick[looking at the point] So the point is pulling it around.

GromRefraction, bruh.

Surf ChickRefraction.

GromThe pocket is where the pivot is happening.

Surf ChickMr. Hand owned that pocket!

GromThe pocket is the part of the wave that's pivoting. Confused. That's the juice, bro.

Surf ChickSo surfing is hanging out in the part of the wave that's tripping.

GromRiding the confusion.

Surf ChickAnd then it breaks and it's just noise.

[Grom hands the wax to Surf Chick.]

GromAnd the ropes.

LegendRopes?

GromRopes. Parallel ropes of air and water. Getting sucked up the face and pitched over the falls. Coherent.

LegendCoherent?

GromCoherent. Organized.

LegendBruh.

GromLike the wave makes these organized spinning noodles right before it breaks.

LegendNoodles.

Surf ChickYou brought Ramen?

GromNOODLES. And then when the lip throws, the noodles unfurl. Like. They were holding it together the whole time and then they let go and that's the break. That's the whole break. It's the ropes letting go.

Surf ChickWhoooaaa.

GromThe wave is like. Organized. It's organized right until it isn't. It's got this secret structure. Little spinning liquid crystal skeleton. And we don't even see it.

Surf ChickWe just ride it.

LegendSuper rad liquid crystal vortices.

GromYEEEEEEEW.

GromAll that energy from the Aleutians. Ends up as heeeeeet!

Surf ChickIt's definitely heating up bro!

LegendMr. Hand!

GromLet's get some!

Surf ChickYeeeee!

LegendYeeeew!

GromGet some!

They paddle out.